Setting the record straight: Gingrich is no Marco Rubio

And Romney is no Charlie Crist

As the primary contest roars to Florida, candidates are escalating their attacks on one another. This is to be expected in any hotly contested election, and as an observer with a preference in the race, I don't generally care to address or dignify attacks against my candidate of choice, who in this case is Mitt Romney.

Except, the Gingrich campaign is now trying to establish a totally false meme that I feel compelled to address and dispel--that Mitt Romney is somehow connected to Charlie Crist because the Romney campaign is allegedly run by Crist hacks.

The ones in the Romney campaign specifically being cited as evidence of this connection to Crist are Stuart Stevens, Andrea Sauls, and Amanda Hennenberg.

Let's put things into perspective: These three operatives were out-of-state hired guns with no real connection or loyalty to what I like to call the CCC (the Crist Circle of Crap).

The CCC include those Florida "Republicans" who devoid of any principles, supported, defended, and enabled Crist in his treachery against conservatism and the Republican Party over the years. They are the Crist cronies who politically and financially benefited from his ascendance to power and his catastrophic control over the Republican party. They were accomplices in his misdeeds. They include, but are not limited to George LeMieux, Eric Eikenberg, Jim Greer, Delmar Johnson, and other such sycophants on the RPOF and/or public dole under Crist. These are the ones who cheered Crist on and in many cases advised him on how to best execute his treachery.

Stevens, Sauls and Hennenberg do not rise (or descend?) anywhere near that level. In fact, as this Miami Herald article explains, Sauls and Hennenberg were merely following orders. I have the sense that these non-Floridians with little or no prior knowledge of the Florida GOP or Crist's treachery accepted a job to work for a campaign that they saw as a good career opportunity--a safe, high-profile campaign flush with money and supported by the establishment, including the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC). Besides, what young Republican operative would turn down an opportunity to work on a campaign down in sunny Florida?

As for Stevens, he may have been directing the messaging for the backstabber Charlie Crist, but at the end of the day, he too was merely a hired gun. He didn't have a cushy office at the RPOF headquarters; he didn't jet-set with Greer, LeMieux and Crist on taxpayer-funded junkets; he didn't have a RPOF-issued credit card; he didn't benefit from the Crist-supporting Scott Rothsteins of the world; and most importantly, he didn't utilize the RPOF to stack the deck against Rubio or other conservatives like the CCC did.

Instead, he was a non-Floridian beltway type being paid to do a job just like any political consultant. Did he give some bad advice? I believe he did. But did that make him part of the CCC? Absolutely not. He was paid to do what he thought was best for the campaign that hired him and would go on to derive no further tangible benefit whether the backstabber Crist won or lost (unlike the CCC).

In fact, Stevens has worked for many prominent Republican campaigns including Bush/Cheney, Haley Barbour for Governor, Jon Kyl for Senate, John Cornyn for Senate, Chris Christie for Governor, and others. He has also worked for the conservative publication The Weekly Standard and countless private companies.

As far as I know, there are no former Crist for Senate 2010 supporters or staff working for the Romney campaign in Florida. In fact, I don't even think there are any Crist for Governor 2006 supporters in the campaign.

Instead, what we see in the Florida Romney campaign are longtime political adversaries of the backstabber Charlie Crist and his CCC:

Brett Doster who headed the Florida Bush/Cheney presidential race in 2004 is doing the same for the Romney campaign. Doster has a long documented history of opposing Charlie Crist. He ran the Tom Gallagher for Governor primary against Charlie Crist and also ran campaigns of notable anti-Crist candidates, including former Florida Christian Coalition president Dennis Baxley, who is also a longtime Romney supporter. In fact, Doster was referred to as "Public Enemy #1" by CCC ringleader George LeMieux.

Alberto Martinez worked in the Florida House Majority Office under Rubio and was an early Rubio supporter who also worked on the Gallagher campaign against Charlie Crist in 2006. He is now on the Romney campaign.

Both Doster and Martinez were blacklisted and essentially barred from doing any busines or associating with the RPOF and Executive Branch during Crist's tenure.

Key Rubio regional campaign chairs and early supporters Bertica Cabrera Morris of Central-Florida and Nancy McGowan of the Jacksonville area are also a staunch Romney supporters and active in that campaign.

In fact, several Rubio-Romney ties were discussed by Politico last October, which include past and current staffers to both Senator Rubio and the 2008 Romney Campaign.

And let's not forget yours truly. I have waged a well-documented and justified war against the detestable backstabber Charlie Crist since 2006. I exposed Crist every time he threw in with the left, despite his popularity with the party he was undermining. And when Rubio declared his candidacy for US Senate, I was one of the state's earliest and most vocal supporters of that underdog campaign. I stood with him when he barely registered in polls and his campaign lacked the financial resources to even allow him to fly to campaign destinations. I was there and I know who stood with us. I do not need to be lectured by anyone who was absent about who was or was not with Rubio.

Today I am a proud Mitt Romney supporter, as I was in 2008. To suggest that I of all people would jump on any campaign tied to or otherwise friendly to Charlie Crist is laughable.

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Gingrich points to his current Florida Director Jose Mallea as proof of some kind of greater Rubio-Gingrich connection. Mallea is a friend and a decent guy who did a fine job on the Rubio campaign after he joined it in February of 2010, but that alone does not qualify as proof of a longstanding Rubio-Gingrich connection, much less an indication of a Crist-Romney connection.

Conversely, does the fact Gingrich hired as a key Florida advisor someone who urged Marco Rubio to drop out mean there's some kind of Crist-Gingrich connection? We can go back and forth all day.

To be fair, I cannot omit that the Gingrich campaign has other supporters and staff with connections to the Rubio campaign. But so does Romney. In fact, many early Rubio supporters, including some who were with us way back in early 2009 when Rubio was polling at 3% against Crist are now Romney supporters, including Tampa activist Stephen Gately, Rubio campaign staffer Genessa Casanova, former Miami-Dade Republican Party Executive Director JC Hernandez who is on staff with the Romney Florida campaign, longtime Palm Beach County Republican activist Bonnie Re, and countless others.

Let's also not forget that the backstabber Charlie Crist endorsed Romney's 2008 opponent John McCain 72 hours before the election. And almost half of the voters polled said that Crist's endorsement of McCain influenced their decision to vote for him. Talk about Romney having an axe to grind against Crist.

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So in complete and total fairness, I believe both the Gingrich and Romney campaigns enjoy broad support from the Rubio base. However, it is Newt Gingrich running around the state implying he has a monopoly over the Rubio support base and that this is some sort of proxy war between the backstabber Crist supporters and us Rubio supporters. This is laughable.

Despite his hubris today, Gingrich did not have the courage to risk his political capital like DeMint and other conservatives by supporting Rubio early on when he was a long-shot candidate. To be fair, Romney endorsed Rubio around the same time (a couple of days before?) Gingrich did, just prior to Crist's bolting the GOP.

In fact, responding to all this foolishness from the Gingrich campaign, Rubio himself had to offer the following clarification:

"Mitt Romney is no Charlie Crist. Romney is a conservative, and he was one of the first national Republican leaders to endorse me. He came to Florida, campaigned hard for me and made a real difference in my race."

See, even though Romney helped Rubio, he is not making the Rubio vs Crist a wedge issue like Gingrich is. Despite the false impression he's trying to convey today, Gingrich in October 2009 refused to take sides in the Rubio/Crist race when asked in this video, instead heaping praise on both Rubio and Crist.

There is no doubt the 2010 FL GOP Senate Primary was an epic battle between conservatism and progressive Republicanism whose fallout lingers to this day. It is not dissimilar to the landmark 1964 Goldwater-Rockefeller primary for president, which laid the foundation for Reaganism and the modern conservative movement. Unfortunateley, Gingrich was on the wrong side of that one.

I believe Rubio's statement on Romney's assistance during his campaign speaks for itself. Regardless, I urge the Gingrich campaign to drop this, as there are countless early Rubio and Romney supporters who will not be as uncharacteristically kind as I have been in setting the record straight.

***UPDATE 10AM, 1/25/2012***

Marco Rubio scolds Gingrich camp over "innaccurate" and "inflammatory" ad:

Per the Tampa Bay Times:

Sen. Marco Rubio scolded Newt Gingrich’s presidential campaign over a Spanish-language radio ad that accuses rival Mitt Romney of being “anti-immigrant”

“This kind of language is more than just unfortunate. It’s inaccurate, inflammatory, and doesn’t belong in this campaign,” Rubio told The Miami Herald when asked about the ad.

“The truth is that neither of these two men is anti-immigrant,” Rubio said. “Both are pro-legal immigration and both have positive messages that play well in the Hispanic community.”

Rubio’s sharp rebuke comes a day after he subtly corrected Gingrich for comparing Romney to former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, branded by conservatives as a turncoat who left the party before Rubio beat him in 2010.

Florida's Public Policy Vacuum

(Originally published 5/4/10 on Freedompub.org)

Allow me to talk shop a little bit to set up my point.

My job in Florida is to promote free market reforms to the property insurance system that Charlie Crist largely socialized when he became governor in 2007. Without entering into specifics of his ill-conceived reforms, Crist basically imposed a "public option" type system of property insurance on Florida that essentially transferred massive liabilities from private property insurance companies to the state-run property insurance company. This means Florida taxpayers have assumed those massive liabilities.

Just like Obama's true motives were to drive health insurance companies out of business when he tried to impose a public option on the country's health insurance system, Charlie Crist's public option has driven away most of the state's large private insurance companies. Coverage by these has largely been replaced by the underfunded state-run insurer and small, untested, fly-by-night insurance companies most of which are sure to go bankrupt if even as much as a weak hurricane hits the state. In short, Florida is one hurricane away from either going bankrupt or facing the very real possibility of having tens of thousands of its storm-ravaged citizens not having their claims paid.

Think about that for one second: the state goes bankrupt and/or an entire region of the state can't recover from a storm because claims can't get paid, which eventually also bankrupts the state.

The good news is, the legislature is beginning to notice the importance of this issue, and there have been attempts by statesmen to address it (yes, some politicians are actually statesmen).
The bad news is, as usual, Crist.

Last year the Legislature overwhelmingly passed a bill that would have largely addressed Florida's insurance crisis. Among other things, it would have allowed companies to charge rates based on the free market and risk. Opponents demagogued it saying that it would drive up rates, obviously omitting the fact that it would lure more competitors into the market, spread the risk, and ensure solvency so people could actually get their claims paid after the storm. Crist's response: he vetoed it.

This year, a similar bill, albeit a weaker version of last year's, was moving through the legislative process. The bill was changed to address the concerns Crist had raised in last year's so-called "veto message." But as anyone in Florida's legislative process can attest, any "substantive" reasons Crist may cite in a veto message are mere excuses used to justify a veto done only to score cheap political points with the interest group or demographic du jour.

Crist acted like a grade school student who stuck his fingers in his ears and repeatedly yelled "rate incrase rate increase!" as others were trying to reason with him.

In short, there has been a complete lack of public policy gravitas in the governor's office since Jeb Bush's departure. For Crist, no serious policy issue is serious, no potential consequences are of consequence, and every official decision that has to be made must be weighed against the interests of his own political career. Anything that is bad for Charlie in the short-term must be treated as bad policy and must be rendered moot no matter how vital or beneficial it is to the state and its citizens in the long-term.

Issues unrelated to property insurance do not deviate from that narrative. For example, the Legislature passed Senate Bill 6, a teacher merit pay bill favored by many teachers, legislative leaders, Jeb Bush, and education reformers nationwide, but vociferously opposed by the teacher's unions. As the bill moved through the legislative process, Crist had explicitly indicated he would sign the bill through personal conversations with legislative leaders and even through public declarations by his official representatives at hearings where the bill was being debated.

Despite his stated support for the bill, Crist vetoed it after the loud minority opposition reached a fever pitch. Devoid of a core support base, Crist killed the bill hoping the teacher's union would fill the void Republicans across the state left when they abandoned him after years of throwing in with Democrats on issue after issue. He hedged his bets and figured the union would rescue his fledgling US Senate campaign. This morning I saw an ad paid for by the Florida Education Association (the state's teacher's union) thanking him for vetoing SB6.

This is the Florida of Charlie Crist's cyncism and opportunism, where an outright and proven lie in the form of a veto earns him in-kind paid media today, and another veto will plunge the state into an unprecedented financial catastrophe that will adversely impact every Floridian tomorrow when Crist is not around to deal with it. Both, however, are the result of Charlie Crist's desperate confusion about his role as governor as he continues in his schmaltzy dither to govern with his eye on the next office.

Veto illustrates Crist's self-serving, deceitful nature

For the record, I favored the passage of Senate Bill 6, the so-called teacher "Merit Pay" bill, also known as "SB6." However, I will not get into a policy discussion or any of the particulars of why I supported it. Instead, let's pretend for the remainder of this column that I opposed SB6 and wanted the bill to never become the law in Florida.

With that said, I am happy that Governor Charlie Crist vetoed the bill.

But that's it.

I'm not going to organize a rally in his honor at my local high school during school hours before throngs of gushing parents, teachers, and students eager to skip an hour of class. I'm not going to put one of his bumper stickers on my car. I'm not going to donate to his campaign. And I certainly am not going to vote for him in the August primary or in the November general, should he decide to run as an independent, NPA, or so-called "Independent Republican."

To do any of those things requires a certain level of admiration or respect for the man, of which I have none.

I opposed SB6 and favored its veto, so I'm happy Crist decided to veto it. But do not confuse my happiness over the death of a certain piece of legislation with admiration for the person who killed it. Would you love your sworn enemy just because he killed another one of your enemies? You may be happy at the outcome, but it wouldn't change the fact he's still an enemy.

Someone just doing something that I happen to like or favor does not earn that person my admiration or respect, especially if they did it for the wrong reasons. And Crist certainly vetoed SB6 for the wrong reason: political expediency.

Although I am happy Crist vetoed SB6, I also realize he lied to lawmakers while the bill was being debated and moving through the legislative process. Not only did he personally assure lawmakers in private conversations that he would sign it into law, but his chief-of-staff did too. And the reason we can rest assured these claims are true is because Crist's official education policy advisor from Crist's own Executive Office of the Governor went on the record as supporting SB6 during committee hearings. So while I'm happy Crist vetoed SB6, I can't admire nor support someone who gives his word about something so important and then lies like he did.

He's a liar, plain and simple. I can't admire or support a liar.

Furthermore, I also understand that Crist had ample opportunity to threaten to veto SB6 or otherwise express concerns with provisions in it while it was still being debated in the Legislature. Had he done so, the bill likely would not have gotten very far. Instead, Crist and his representatives expressed support for the bill.

The fact he didn't express any concerns while the bill was being debated proves to me that he really didn't care about the particulars of the bill or its policy implications, but rather vetoed it only out of political expediency thinking that those of us who wanted him to veto the bill would come to rescue his failing US Senate campaign. In short, he views us as a bunch of malleable, useful idiot footsoldiers.

Sorry Charlie. Although I'm glad you vetoed the bill, I know you didn't do it for the right reasons. Although I'm glad you vetoed the bill, I can't overlook your horrible--or nonexistent--record as governor. Although I'm glad you vetoed the bill, I know that if the bill were popular or would have earned you political points, you would have signed it instead of vetoing it.

And most importantly, Charlie, if you betrayed so many of your friends and longtime loyal supporters in the legislature and in your party, I know you will not hesitate to betray those of us who are happy that you vetoed SB6 the moment it suits you.

In short, Charlie, you are nothing more than a self-serving political opportunist, and the how and why of this veto illustrate it. So although I'm happy you vetoed SB6, I still can't support you because my word, my loyalty, and my principles can't be brokered.

Unlike yours.

Republican response to Gov. Crist's State of the State Address

TO BE GIVEN FOLLOWING JOINT SESSION OF FLORIDA LEGISLATURE

MARCH 2, 2010, 6:45 pm (approx)

Good evening fellow Floridians,

We meet during unique times, the second year of the deepest recession in generations. It is anticipated that this week, the unemployment rate in Florida will be the highest ever recorded. Record numbers of Floridians left the state last year. Property values are down, way down. Taxes and fees are up. Our reserves are drained. As bad as things are, next year things will be will be even more challenging. Florida is facing a $3.2 billion deficit for fiscal year 2010-11.

In this difficult environment, our lame duck governor has told us that ideology is wrong and that we should seek pragmatic solutions to our problems... like gambling.

Yes, gambling.

Governor Crist's state of the state address this year, which ran more than twice as long as years past, offered no solutions--just hollow platitudes and vague allusions about how he is a problem solver. Given the fact that he is governor and that Florida has problems, one should be safe in assuming that he has solved our problems?

Um, perhaps made a dent in our problems?

No, our putative Republican governor, Charlie Crist, has caused our problems. He has been asleep at the ship of state.

You may recall that following 9/11, Florida's last Republican governor to date, Jeb Bush, convened a special session to tackle the economic effects of the attack. The tax cuts and other policy objectives that then-Governor Bush actively pushed through the legislature allowed Florida to weather the aftermath of 9/11. Why did putative Republican Governor Crist not call the legislature back into session this past summer to cut unnecessary regulations? To cut taxes and improve the environment for businesses? Where has he been? Does he have no ideas?

Instead of steady conservative leadership for the last three years, we have had an absentee governor who hasn't been to work on a Friday in who knows when. He has abused the office we have entrusted him to by neglecting its duties and distracting himself with running for Vice President and now US Senate. He has been by all accounts, the worst governor in America.

Gov. Crist's idea of solving problems involves offering politically expedient, poll-driven short-term solutions that will cost the state in the long run well after he's no longer around to deal with the mess. He would allow Florida to wallow in a morass of red tape while he is off gallivanting in Washington, pining for the next political office.

And when anyone has the temerity to call him on this, well, of course, they speak from the cheap seats, "where wisdom is not required and nothing is either risked or gained," according to the putative Republican governor.

Well, the good news is that the end is near. Finally people are standing up to putative Republican Charlie Crist and saying, "Enough!" Standing against the stimulus package does not make you an ideologue. If it did, every Republican in the United States congress, sans three notoriously disloyal Republicans, would be ideologues.

Republicans deserve better; Florida deserves better. Republicans are sick and tired of politicians with no guiding principles, no ideas, no solutions but lots of talk about problem solving when problems abound.

A great Republican, Barry Goldwater, once said, "Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice...and moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue." Well, defense of the stimulus is not a virtue, it is unforgivable.

Putative Republican Gov. Crist derides all Republicans who stood on principle by saying, "...a few governors may have rather loudly condemned the stimulus money, but that did not stop them from quietly accepting it."

The debt of the United States represents a clear and present danger to our children, our nation's stability, and the world's economy. If Crist wins election to the Senate, he will continue to support policies that will harm America. As Republicans, we must stand up to this, otherwise these "compromises" will be the standard for years to come and our "Shining City on the Hill" as described by our great president and mentor Ronald Reagan will stand less secure, less prosperous and more vulnerable than ever before.

See, putative Republicans like Charlie Crist called Ronald Reagan an ideologue and an extremist. But to that, Reagan said: "You and I have the courage to say to our enemies, 'There is a price we will not pay.' There is a point beyond which they must not advance."

The Republicans in the Florida Legislature now know for certain that the Emperor has no clothes and we stand ready to pass our agenda and formally dare the governor to veto our cuts in taxes, fees and regulations, and our market-freeing reforms to the property insurance system he socialized.

Crist is wrong. Thankfully, he is almost gone, and if Republicans across Florida stand up and make it so, he will really be a lame duck in about five months.

Thank you for watching. God bless Florida.


****UPDATE 3/4/10 2:10pm****

Here is an excellent editorial by the Panama City News Herald that discusses Crist's State of the State address titled "The Cost of Crist."

No hole deep enough for Jim Greer and Charlie Crist?

A prediction I made a few months ago became reality tonight. I said that when Charlie Crist's handpicked chairman, the disgraced and recently-ousted Jim Greer was forced out, he would try to take others with him. Specifically, I predicted he would do so by leaking Marco Rubio's Republican Party of Florida (RPOF) American Express statement.

Today the media reported it had obtained a copy of Marco Rubio's AmEx statement, and I know my prediction came true because no one at the RPOF had access to these records except the detestable Jim Greer and those in his inner circle.

So why would Jim Greer (illegally?) leak these records to the press?

The short answer is, to embarrass Marco Rubio and try to derail his surging campaign.

Jim Greer has always been a hardcore Charlie Crist loyalist--after all, Crist forced him on us. He was such a loyalist that he blatantly threw his supposed impartiality as party chairman to the curb and actively promoted Charlie Crist's candidacy in a contested Republican primary. He went so far as to attempt to waive "RNC Rule 11," which would allow the RNC to formally throw its support behind Crist in the primary. This action is usually reserved for those rare cases where the candidacy of a fringe Republican is likely to bring harm, disrepute, or embarrassment to the party (i.e., a David Duke candidacy). Thankfully, Florida's National Committeewoman to the RNC, Sharon Day, stopped Greer in his tracks.

Although failed, the attempt by Greer to essentially bully Rubio out of the primary race was what set off the firestorm that eventually led to his resignation. First came indignation from party activists around the state over his attempt usurp the voters' will by anointing Charlie Crist, followed by outrage over revelations of gross misuse of the party's financial resources to fund his lavish lifestyle (including private jet charters, spa treatments, presidential suites, fine cigars, expensive dinners, and limousine rentals for himself and his family). Throughout all these scandals, Charlie Crist remained loyal to him and even instructed him not to resign. For more on the utter disgrace that is the detestable Jim Greer, please read my previous blog post on the matter.

So needless to say, Greer had an axe to grind with Rubio, which explains why he would leak this confidential information to the press (or to the Crist campaign, who turned around and leaked it to the press).

All this goes to show that the Crist campaign will stop at nothing to distract the electorate from the real issues at stake in this campaign. There is no limit to the depths the Crist campaign and his corrupt inner circle will stoop to try to politically destroy anyone in Charlie Crist's way, even if that person is another Republican.

So here's another prediction: Charlie Crist and his minions will undermine the Republican Nominee Marco Rubio when he defeats Crist in August.

Just when you think these people have stooped to new depths, they find a deeper hole.

Mark Levin chimes in on the Florida US Senate race in his notoriously hilarious way

Here is a hilarious collection of sound clips where syndicated conservative radio talk show host Mark Levin rips into Charlie Crist and endorses Marco Rubio for US Senator from Florida. Enjoy!

Here, Mark rips into John McCain and other RINOs for supporting the consummate RINO, Charlie Crist; endorses Rubio:


Marco Rubio on the Mark Levin Show:


Mark Levin comments on Rubio's surge in the polls:


Mark Levin reacts to Charlie Crist calling Ronald Reagan a RINO (yes, you read correctly!):

Florida Republicans Take Back the Fort

Today the Republican Party of Florida elected a new Chairman in Senator John Thrasher, at long last bringing to an end the disgraceful 3-year administration (a term I use lightly) of Crist's hand-picked chairman, Jim Greer.

But his departure was anything but smooth. Despite countless Republican activists, party officers (and more party officers), donors, (and more donors), elected officials, and concerned Republicans calling for his resignation, Jim Greer dug in his heels and defiantly refused to go for months. He declared he was being set up by people intent on destroying the party, and even had his minions publicly blame the Marco Rubio campaign. Despite all the intra-party division, negative press, and fundraising paralysis generated, Crist's handpicked Chairman wouldn't budge. He had no qualms about extending his cancerous presence even if it meant the destruction of the party.

But why? Why was Greer so willing to oversee the destruction of the RPOF after his predecessors had struggled to build what was once a nearly nonexistent minority party into the most powerful state party operation in the country?

Those of us critical of Jim Greer knew all along that it was his blind devotion and commitment to promoting Charlie Crist, and Crist's need to control the party to benefit his campaign. Jim Greer himself validated our belief when he confirmed that Crist had instructed him not to resign.

They inherited a strong party from leaders with a vision toward the future. For Crist and his handpicked chairman, the party was merely a vehicle to advance Crist, enrich his cronies, and toss aside once it was no longer useful.

Thankfully, legislative leaders and the candidate with the most to lose by a fractured party--Bill McCollum--stepped in and forced Greer to resign. Even then, he could not go gracefully, so he took the opportunity to blame others for his downfall.

With Greer expelled and today's elections of Senator John Thrasher as chairman and Deborah Cox-Roush as vice chairman, it seems the fort may have been recaptured just in time for it to be rebuilt before the battle in November.

Crist responds to Rubio's CPAC speech

REMARKS BY GOV. CHARLIE CRIST IN RESPONSE TO FORMER SPEAKER MARCO RUBIO'S SPEECH BEFORE THE CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL ACTION CONFERENCE (CPAC)

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2010 -- TALLAHASSEE, FL

***Not prepared for Delivery, Not Embargoed Until Delivery***

It's great to be here in beautiful Florida. Isn't she great, folks? We have such a lovely state, and we are all so very blessed to have her. (wait for applause)

I know many of you are thinking about that CPAC meeting going on up in our nation's capital, and while I love Washington and can't wait to get up there to represent (pointing) you, and you, and you, and all the great people of this beautiful state, I have to admit that our state is much more beautiful than Washington, isn't she? (wait for applause)

So I wanted to talk with you today about the so-called CPAC meeting. I really wish I was there to speak to our nation's conservatives, but I was not invited after I was booed last year and came in dead last in a straw poll. I desperately wanted to go this year, but by them not inviting me, I guess they were saving me from a terribly embarrassing situation. So instead, I am here with you today sharing this beautiful, crisp, February north Florida weather in this, our Republican Party of Florida Headquarters parking lot to address all of you loyal supporters on our brand of "conservatism." On what it means to be a Charlie Crist Republican.

Can you all hear me okay? I'm sorry if you can't. Since we weren't sure whether or not the Republican Party of Florida headquarters would have its power cut off, we decided against renting a sound system for today's event. Speaking of which, let's all give my friend and soon to be former hand-picked RPOF Chairman Jim Greer a round of applause (point to JG, wait for applause). Hey Jim, thanks for everything you tried to do for my US Senate campaign as RPOF chairman. I'm proud to have stood by you despite everything you did to the party as a result of helping my campaign. Hopefully next time, if we have a sound system, you can serenade us! (wait for laughter)

Well my friends, I know I am not as popular as I used to be, which is surprising given that the only time I ever took a stand on anything meaningful was when President Obama came down to our beautiful state to promote a trillion dollar spending bill called the "stimulus." I always knew that all the darned thing would do is stimulate our national debt, but hey, Obama and I were pretty popular back then, and I sure as heck wasn't about to put my approval numbers in jeopardy by cutting state spending to what I should have. I can't stand having people angry at me over a tough decision like that, you know.

So yes, I courageously went against every Republican in the country and campaigned for the stimulus so the federal government would give Florida some borrowed money from China to make my last two years as your governor a little easier on me. That helped me keep my focus on raising money for my Senate race instead of all that governing stuff. I know the stimulus money runs out after I leave the governorship, but I'm fully prepared to let Bill McCollum deal with it. I have full confidence in him. Or Alex Sink. Or whomever.

So while people are in Washington yapping about what it means to be a conservative, I would rather talk about what it means to be a Charlie Crist Republican.

And what, you may ask, is a Charlie Crist Republican?

A Charlie Crist Republican cares about today and not about tomorrow, when he will be in Washington and not have to deal with the consequences. A Charlie Crist Republican fights against tax increases, but supports fee increases. A Charlie Crist Republican acts tough on corruption, unless the corrupt happen to donate to, or run the RPOF. A Charlie Crist Republican appoints liberal, anti-gun, ACLU-backed justices to the Florida Supreme Court, but talks tough on crime.

Caputo, thanks for coming out today with your camera. Good to see you.

A Charlie Crist Republican criticizes socialist policies, except when it comes to property insurance. A Charlie Crist Republican is willing to reach across the aisle--often--and is proud to put on the other team's jersey. A Charlie Crist Republican hosts global warming conferences--on non-primary election years. A Charlie Crist Repub... Gary! Great to see you! Thanks for your RT the other day!

As I was saying, a Charlie Crist Republican thinks cap and trade is great, unless he has a primary challenger who puts the breaks on it. A Charlie Crist Republican chooses good Republicans to fill vacancies around the state--only during primary election years. A Charlie Crist Republican embaces and welcomes the President of the United States, unless the president happens to be a Republican. A Charlie Crist Republican says he's against the expansion of gambling until he's for it. A Charlie Crist Republican is pro-life, but is against enacting laws that protect the sanctity of human life. A Charlie Crist Republican is for traditional marriage, but is against the Republican Party funding any marriage amendment campaigns. Lastly, a Charlie Crist Republican campaigns for his party's nominee for president, unless passed over for vice president.

In short, on a host of issues, a Charlie Crist Republican says one thing and does another--and accuses his opponents of the same thing, even when he knows it isn't true.

In conclusion, I want to thank all seven or eight of you for showing up here today. Even though there are several thousand people up there in Washington, please don't believe the cockamamie stuff coming out of that phony conservative get-together. We're the real conservatives gathered here today, and Marco Rubio is a lousy human being for having the audacity to run against me. So please, vote for me, a Charlie Crist Republican--for the future of our party!

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Of course, this speech is a parody.